- preface (Saturday)
- wide eyed (Thursday)
- artists I have met in pools (Thursday)
- postface (Friday)
- avoiding many things (Saturday)
- postscript (Sunday)
[The following was begun on Thursday. It needs to be published for me to continue by writing on my cellphone about what's up.
The speech here may be even less mindful than usual. Composed as it was without the kind of repeated going over I often do when I have the silent, portable comfort of my cellphone. Certainly not publishing and not writing is an option too. But. . .
The current impetus: The pool is now open. I may be going back there. May see [---] again, but I should get to that on my cellphone, and want this published first.
I'd rather not go unprepared.
By the way "If this is a global teambuilding prob-lem, I'm sitting around.{'. . . playing grabass' says the harsher mind} Why?" & "What is my worth and potential?" are themes I thought of taking up. . .
Bury the offending text--a long-time strategy. Unreadable due to volume.
Peace.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[first draft of following written on phone:]
wide eyed
I was about to begin a contemplation [in the swimming pool] of Covey's leadership definition, yesterday's experience, and whether I might possibly be overlooking a fun way of "communicating to [more people] so clearly their worth and potential that they come to see it in themselves."
Covey's 8th habit is actually, "find your own voice and help others find theirs," I believe, which, if you look at his early work, Spiritual Roots of Human Relations, you'll see the 8th habit may derive from [what may be] the Mormon belief that everyone is capable not only of a relationship with the divine (unmediated by priests?), but also of being prophetic and visionary in the same manner their founder was, and perhaps in the same manner Jesus, Moses, and others were, and that our role here on earth is to help as many souls as possible develop to the point that "they are comfortable in the presence of God", perhaps in the manner that a peer of God would be comfortable in the presence of God.
Covey's 8th is the better pointer?
but Melissa was there--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[first draft of following written in SDSU computer lab]
Artists I have met in pools whose websites I know (03ZED [owned])
Ray and Joan Kroc Corps Community Center, San Diego:
Riverbank State Park, New York City:
- Valerie Atkisson and do an image search for a self-portrait
- Sara Decorso
- Carmen Menocal (Architect)
- Anthony Saridakis (? Architect)
- Charles (Actor)
- ??? (Fashion photographer)
- ??? (Documentary writer, or filmer??)
- Others, I'm sure.
Trying to remember Valerie's name I got to remembering other NYC friends:
Yoga teachers and musicians and ?? met in dance studios
Yoga teachers and musicians and ?? met in dance studios
- Rachel Leshaw (now in Encinitas)
Doctors met in dance studios
But the only one in the present is Melissa Regas. So let's look.
I like her poem inclusion: http://melissaregas.com/poems/inclusion.htm
http://melissaregas.com/poems/self-respect.htm
Bravo! This is it.
Let's just stick with the poetry.
http://melissaregas.com/Poems.html
The bio.
http://melissaregas.com/bio.html
People's sign language--
http://melissaregas.com/psl.html
Conceptual art!!
http://melissaregas.com/conceptualart.html
This article on the controversy provides a rather clinical bio:
http://melissaregas.com/images/regaspsl.doc
Her eyes:
http://melissaregas.com/paintings12.html
one more: http://melissaregas.com/paintings9.html
notable:
http://melissaregas.com/paintings19.html
By the way: youtube, facebook, myspace are all blocked where I am now. It is 806pm. Time to go home.
----------------------------
I sat before this and was still as sun was setting. But eventually got up, 03ZED.
She waited for me. I saw her eyes on one of the first days back from Mexico--or maybe even before that trip. Took a few days (over the course of months--well weeks at least?) to recognize her [I mean become familiar with her, aware of her as someone who regularly comes to the pool, without saying a thing. And there was one I confused her with once.]. Then saw her pointing her toes, which helped me say hi, asking if she danced.
Today we could say more, then. And she was ready.
She's written about herself so I don't have to.
Or I should have written before I visited her site?
There's a lot that could be said. I know she's asking me to email her. Or nearly know.
The marked ones, if they survive--are the ones!
So alive--
realizing my fear was that by some carelessness I might lessen that joy.
Some great madness is about to begin?
I couldn't help laughing when I was trying to tell her I was reading Moby Dick. . . I still can't, thinking of it.
Her eyes. And she needs to see you to understand--to see your lips.
(at least without hearing aids).
And here's a fear:
That writing is faster than speaking?
How funny to communicate when you're not sure what of what you say is understood?
And how emphatic / exaggerated her expression--
Owned, by the way:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Owned
Will I --
and how long until she responds? and what then?
I've got her email in my phone.
---
Following links in the clinical bio:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ehlers-Danlos_syndrome
---
A live spirit-- [in a body]
Well. Time to go.
Peace (I can't really believe that?),
a lot of sitting is in store to maintain some remembrance of peace perhaps. . .
Were she to read me, what would she find?
I think I'm nearly unreadable--so much text. [two icebergs. what does the the already written/painted matter. . ?]
Well. I'm not going to publish this right away?
It is written in a computer lab and I don't feel the feeling in it and the thought behind it that I do when writing on my phone.
Peace,
-------------------
(The following day -- Friday eve:)
postface
Still have not emailed her. May wait until next I see her, perhaps share my old URLs. As Covey says about human relations, "Slow is fast" [as in 'strong']. No rush. Was pretty will-less today. May take a while to return focus to the projects I was working on before (shipping, sewing).
-----------------
(The following day -- Saturday:)
Avoiding many things
Just looked through her pages again--
-----------------
(The following day -- Saturday:)
Avoiding many things
Not wanting to encounter a strong will and spirit having no will and spirit myself--a path to a disempowering and ultimately failing colonization.
The motivated-from-outward excitement of last week subsided. Nothing remaining beyond basic organismic motives.
---
"It's great to be with you because I get a break from my usual constant wondering what to do and instead can just follow you around."
The one I met perhaps has a lot in common with one I used to be. "Be together to be together." Whose work is most disturbing to those most sought? "Be together to be together" . . .
---
So, once more, lost and directionless. Do I really want to go to sea? What about these people? Time to go camping? All that will resolve itself in time.
The only immediate question, what do I say to [Bee], what will result? Perhaps a sort of: yes I visited, yes I saw, yes somewhat disturbed by what I could (simply) read as written to me. Disturbed by the speed she swam after touching hands, disturbed, understanding, knowing the same in me with her, others, not as dramatically perhaps.
What to do about someone who can love so quickly, intensely, unreservedly? [contrasting to one's petrification.]
I say I want to spend more time with others, but don't seem to know how any more. [do not really wish to?]
---------------------
That's the end? I could write a note for her with my old urls on it. . . She'd look at a bit of it.
(Simply) I think she'd be broadened? We all are by whomever we attempt to understand?
Time to go, I guess. There's not a lot of thought here.
---
Through inaction, decay, opportunities arise: death or fall to a lower level of dream. By contrast to the living, by interaction with them: dissonance, attempts to fit never realized. Their active decay, our inactive.
The free Kroc membership will eventually go away. The clothes I wear, rarely washed, also help me to progress to stillness, indolent virtue.
The free bananas--
peace,
------------------------------------------------------------
Postscript
Sunday morning. Time to publish this? I finally made it to the pool yesterday. But laid here much of the day. Right ankle not feeling wonderful. Not enthusing about walking miles.
Feeling a bit more comfortable a bit more distant from [---]. Imagine I'd use the response already mentioned, and recommend we write letters, not emails, if we do.
Will also recommend she date her work to show development, change?
Perhaps I'll move on to other topics now.
Peace,
The motivated-from-outward excitement of last week subsided. Nothing remaining beyond basic organismic motives.
---
"It's great to be with you because I get a break from my usual constant wondering what to do and instead can just follow you around."
The one I met perhaps has a lot in common with one I used to be. "Be together to be together." Whose work is most disturbing to those most sought? "Be together to be together" . . .
---
So, once more, lost and directionless. Do I really want to go to sea? What about these people? Time to go camping? All that will resolve itself in time.
The only immediate question, what do I say to [Bee], what will result? Perhaps a sort of: yes I visited, yes I saw, yes somewhat disturbed by what I could (simply) read as written to me. Disturbed by the speed she swam after touching hands, disturbed, understanding, knowing the same in me with her, others, not as dramatically perhaps.
What to do about someone who can love so quickly, intensely, unreservedly? [contrasting to one's petrification.]
I say I want to spend more time with others, but don't seem to know how any more. [do not really wish to?]
---------------------
That's the end? I could write a note for her with my old urls on it. . . She'd look at a bit of it.
(Simply) I think she'd be broadened? We all are by whomever we attempt to understand?
Time to go, I guess. There's not a lot of thought here.
---
Through inaction, decay, opportunities arise: death or fall to a lower level of dream. By contrast to the living, by interaction with them: dissonance, attempts to fit never realized. Their active decay, our inactive.
The free Kroc membership will eventually go away. The clothes I wear, rarely washed, also help me to progress to stillness, indolent virtue.
The free bananas--
peace,
------------------------------------------------------------
Postscript
Sunday morning. Time to publish this? I finally made it to the pool yesterday. But laid here much of the day. Right ankle not feeling wonderful. Not enthusing about walking miles.
Feeling a bit more comfortable a bit more distant from [---]. Imagine I'd use the response already mentioned, and recommend we write letters, not emails, if we do.
Will also recommend she date her work to show development, change?
Perhaps I'll move on to other topics now.
Peace,
Just looked through her pages again--
1 comment:
HI Colin, its mel :) I read your sweet blog and wrote you an email. Sometimes my email goes to spam. I hope you get it. Thank you and hope to talk with you soon :)
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