Debating whether to write.
From the old orchard walked to find water, sat next to stream, water very good, read _Magic Mtn_. Walked N to camp Josepho/phine, BSA, and past till impassable.
Next day, Thurs, walked up backbone trl. Walked N toward Reseda. Much walking. Feasted on foraged oranges/grapefruit. Found Metroliner near Pierce College. It is a bus with dedicated busway. Got on subway (DC-style) at north hollywood. Shopped in HOWES where they were filming a commercial for Pizza Hut(?).
In Union Station called from payphone to resolve cellphone issues. Gold Line to Memorial Park, walked to spot, cook--after indecision--not really hungry, but: what to do? is the routine, noting differences: more (reasonable) fear re: fire, more noise, light vs. being out in canyons.
Friday woke, cooked, walked down arroyo seco, found roving archers, where skill gathering should be, walked east to Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, got Neufchatel Cheese, corn tortillas. Ate, read. Walked to CalTech, sat in library, read, charged.
PM walked to huntington.org, walked on east to another cement creek--Eaton Wash. No good wild park along this one, eventually went to end of Gold Line, rode back to Memorial Park (-$1.25), eating Smart&Final flour tortillas, back to Rose Bowl spot.
Saturday walked over to Rose Bowl aquatic center, considered monthly fee to lap swim, walked up Arroyo Trails, sat, read _Magic Mtn_, sat, exercises, photos, walked to Neighborhood Church (UU), next to Pacific Oaks College, USC Architecture's Gibbon(wrong) house, near historical society, got squirrel, walked to library, got brightkite into friendfeed, did other net stuff, looked into foodstamps, laundrymat, grocers (to find cheaper ones). Called about being guinea pig in medical tests.
Walked toward food stamp place (closed). Found non-opulent part of town and the market where latinos shop, prices reasonable, even some cheaper than SD.
Walked to aquatic center. Swam (-$2 rec swim: 2-4:30, other times cost is $10 or $55/month). Ate cupcakes, frosting, yech. Defrosting. Cooked lentils, peppers, onion, garlic, cabbage. . . yam, on park grill. Ate carrots. Walked back to spot with warm pot.
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Here I am.
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News: TWIC (transportation worker ID card) approved.
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Tomorrow may go to 930 UU service before skills gathering. Also walked by Quaker meetinghouse and a buddhist place, but they're not close. Nor as grand.
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May be able to stay here a while? Once sew pants, work at Trader Joe's/get food stamps/guinea pig money? Hmm--I remember there's a challenge course just up the arroyo from the Rose Bowl too. They want Caltech sperm donors. . .
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the existential issues, and time to spend with them.
here I still lose self in not so helpful patterns but not as much as in SD.
the time to wonder "what to do?", to read, sit, wander, welcome.
[also: reading re: astronomy/astrophysics, "biology" of the entities of the universe. . . In the CalTech journal _E&C_]
_Magic Mountain_, a helpful, relevant text, man free to do nothing [but living in a social routine/supportive social structure], questioning stillness vs. engagement/activity. Addressing origins of intense[/transcendent] life, intense spirit, of experience of flow of time, of nature of mental occupation. "nothing is more abhorred than dead spirit"
realizing I offer a spirit dead to the projects/life activities of many I know--even Mike, Taylor, sd perm friends, even, maybe to the skills people I [may] meet tomorrow. . . Not entirely. And Mike, I gather, understands.
But a spirit not dead to the experience of "what now?"
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Now I can return to _MM_? Now I can sit still? How much will what I've written bounce around/be reconsidered?
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Peace,
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