I'm under one now, and the tangle of branches overhead and the vigor of its shoots--that is the story of the past few days, and now to present it written, linear, perhaps this will help me select the shoot that emerges from the brambled canopy, gets the light, thickens from thought to life-path.
I'm under planes taking off too, my earplugs in, resting at my Point Loma grandparents' house (where now the port district pays to soundproof windows, but they, here since ~'64 both should have their hearing aids paid for too), in the back yard, partly I wish to be outside, partly to stay out of the way of grandma's sisyphean task of getting rid of decades of stuff while caring for grandpa, perhaps waiting for his end, her release.
I'm among sound waves of "lawn care" too (all this and corresponding gas and particulates and pavements and . . .) . Distant now (come again), but fumes and ripbuzz from far side of fence just 3m away somehow stirred me from napping, wandering mind, to type here.
On the road for two nights now. 18th, Thurs, when I arrived, did not sleep that night though--eating, reading, computer, stayed up with that & swam early. By Sunday afternoon was on my way again. Walked to Church of Brethren for darshan (an experience of presence and glance which confers spiritual benefits [?]) with Brad Lancaster (
harvestingrainwater.com -- not much older than I, if he's not younger, and full of the permaculture spirit, channeling, catalyzing strongly social, political, community redesign, revisioning, transformation, change, growth in life ) and reconnection with permaculture, Food Not Lawns friends, some of whom I was nearly certain would be there. Marc Bailey in particular I'd been meaning to visit, he was there--rode his bike though, so I had two long socal urban walks that day to get to his permaculture homestead that night.
Brothers Stream and Vu (rain) [for real!] from Thay Nhat Hanh's Deerpark (Escondido) and Blue Cliff (NY State) monasteries were there as well--this is one sun-seeking shoot of the pepper tree in my mind (joining them)--and Stream had read my posts on TNH/Deerpark at carfreeuniverse, and I'd listened to the podcasts he'd introduced, and followed the solar, composting, carfree projects at Deerpark he'd had a hand in. We spoke enough that many good questions I'd had were touched--Froglessness, a Vietnamese (?) concept, I learned of: not jumping away when you're put in a spot, and, of course, : they move you once you have it, and so Brother Stream came from Plum Village (France) to the US (I think he may originally be from New England).
Christine was there, a surprise!, we helped organize a primitive/origin/aboriginal skills gathering at her place in Rainbow (North SD County) in May (? see
sdprim.blogspot.com )--Marc had been there, Mike M, Jasmine--all who have been what for me approach long-time friends. Christine, once considering moving to Cascadia, may be staying where she is, finding others to share/have community on the land, and Marc may be interested--and this--"intentional community" at least, is another shoot--
Paul M, Julia D, Ian--FNLers I saw there. Marcia Boruta and Brad Lancaster made it happen--thank you! (and will I help do that for others?)
Marc's place: in 6 months or less: chickens, higher-than-head banana trees, all greywater shunted to garden (the banana pit), diverse baby orchard, peppers, tomatoes, eggplant, chard, and--it's a rental, and I found out for the first time he never intends to be a lonely owner, but an intentional communitarian. Mostly, though, it's in what could be the most pleasant spot I've experienced in SD: on the edge of a large golden meadow; highways, planes, 'copters--ubiquitous SD/SoCal presences--kept their distance while I was there and his neighbors used a rake (human-powered, engine-free), while I was there.
As singular as his library, and I should probably have given much of mine to him, rather than away, but anyhow: the community seed is strong with Marc, he may be able to pull it off/help it coalesce in SoCal--as singular as his library: _Survival Skills of Native California_ by Paul D Campbell, 1999.
That book, in the little time I had with it: life and vision-changing: how indians traveled (the nature of their trails), ate, cared for themselves, made things--all questions that came to me while out there, and many possibilities I never considered--such as how a wood rat/other small game would be prepared and eaten, & yellowjacket larvae, and on and on.
_Survival Skills of Native California_ by Paul D Campbell. 1999.
Related to this--I called Mike M. He'd invited me to an origin skills gathering, in Oregon (Echoes in Time?), but I wanted to wander the forests, not hitch so far. It would have been good--and he invites me to LA (Marina Del Ray), but leery of LA, & not sure, never sure? about travel and visiting, haven't made it yet (this must be another pepper tree shoot--do I get up there?). I nearly visited on the way back south from Kernville, but had only emailed, not called--
We'll he's been preparing to go to sea, and he would have some suggestions. When I called he was making some shoes (from yucca?). Plans to make a black wool blanket from wool he shears later this year at a shearing he knows about. Will be processing acorns (and on and on). May go to sea documentless, as most of the world must, were they to go. Wants an old wooden ship--one that works, not just for show, for schoolkids. Fasting for Ramadan (he has perhaps a Jewish last name), studying Arabic, seeking to join Bedouins. I don't doubt he'll make it. He's passionate, enthusiastic, has learnt a ton already, teaches a ton (@ The Garden in Santa Monica). But I know how easy it is to say from the outside, "I don't doubt he'll do it" when on the inside realizing a radical vision (just figuring out what it might be) is (perhaps) ever uncertain, unsettling, but we so often present a different side when sharing with enthusiastic friends.
Mike, and others like him--every one I've mentioned?--bring me the question: why am I not yet teaching, sharing, helping create, as they are? Will I ever? Will my work be more asynchronous than theirs: doing things, then writing about it, contributing somehow that way?
Another pepper tree shoot: a TV News reporter emailed me (from carfreeuniverse) asking for an interview about what was happening in SD for World Carfree Day on 9/22. I got the email too late, and anyway didn't know of anything going on, but passed it on to the carfreesd list--it could inspire someone else for next year.
They locked a gate along a favorite walk route out where I used to stay, near the fig tree I was visiting when I got that email. It is possible to climb the fence. To cut/hacksaw the lock. To organize.
Despair -> acceptance -> greatfulness
I walked west after that. Got my old shirt out of the trash as I passed by the house I used to stay in. I've a black shirt now. Worried about survivability in the desert, grabbed the old one. Can toss it later. Also, took frame off pack. Hope eyelets will hold this way. Walking down El Cajon, spent $20 at World Foods on tapioca, seaweed, dried clam, squid, anchovy, mushroom. More than I need to carry, but comforting? And have 2lbs dried potatoes and 6oz parmesan. . .
Eventually past the garden (behind the chainlink fence) of Birney Elementary and parent Mindy (we met at a workday organized by Marcia for this garden) thought I was Marc B.
Later I got to visit another FNL friend whose place I realized I'd be near, then went to sleep in the canyon near Mission Hills Park. New, quieter police helicopter flew twice right overhead, a glowing red light, related to infra-red camera recording, pulsing like the heartbeat of an earthworm under the scope, or that of the embryo chick, but, with its shape, resembling a guppy with a glowing heart in a dark aquarium. They didn't bother to floodlight me. And of course this is made up.
Up early with light (houses look over this place, path is near), went down trail to reorganize clothing, do the few warm-ups, only one nice woman with unleashed dogs having to deal with my odd siting. Walked then to presidio by notable fig, then, past and through new developments (used the nice toilet at DancePlace[?]) and stores (one a Vons with a wine vault) at the (former Naval Training Ctr) NTC Promenade, eventually to here, met grandparents, and did a bit more research into crewing on a boat or ship, came out here under pepper, planes, "tenderness for the lawn (explosion-powered), the internal combustion engine, the American Dream, in a city where a bay (Mission) was built for thunder boat racing--the paper informs--and the boat, the last one, that uses the old pistion aircraft engine (too many moving parts, always breaks down), is the true sound of America, like a tank, they know you're coming. . . the newer turbines just aren't as loud," and blue sky.
Thank Pynchon . . . bla-me.
--
Now?
Cut is the branch of the life path of living near SDSU/the Kroc Ctr, or it may be (Grandma Ann would let me, not sure if I would let me). Staying here where I am now not tenable for long. Take time to apply to the cruise ships, to get six months' sea time, then go with military sealift command (as civilian) for more training? Walk to marinas and look for boats to crew on? Ask in at Driscoll's Boat Yard (~relatives) for suggestions?
Catch first trolley to Tijuana, begin walking south? Check email at cafés on occasion to see if guy in marina near Hermosillo (San Carlos) emails back?
I'm avoiding going to TJ and walking south.
I don't know how ready I am to crew on someone else's boat. I'd need to meet them. Doubt I'm ready to be a cruise ship employee--work 70hrs/week. Maybe would get into communications for military sealift. . . .communications sounded interesting at any rate.
Doubt I'm ready to do any sort of formal seeking, petitioning, applying to someone else to give me something to do . . .
My feet may be a bit sore from walking.
Time to quit this. Guessing I'll begin walking south in Mexico from TJ early Thursday 9/25. Will I?
Walking seems simplest: get up, walk, meet who's there, leave when you feel like it, find food, sleep, continue. When money low, do something different. May be more likely to ask around at marinas in MX than here?
[Just got a response from the guy near Hermosillo! That may be enough of a contact to get me on my way--]
Peace,
