Friday, August 15, 2008

Vista; What to do; Re: your comment!

I came to a vista open to the west near a stream. I'd planned to rest @ water. Tried, and there's a good signal again, so I got some messages, and I thought I'd update things since I made it through a stretch of unmaintained trail.

The vista overlooks the valley formed by convergence of north and middle forks of the San Joaquin. I'm near Red's Meadow and maybe 70 mi from Tuol. Mdws. Sky is stormy, hazy as if there are fires, really bad smog.

One message was: http://fireeagle.yahoo.net is open for everyone now & has some deal with the spot gps tracker.

Last night I cooked, ate a big trout and two different kinds of mushrooms--two yellow boletes & a piece of one of the huge, white, gilled shrooms that grow on dead foxtail pines I think. All this using the coals of a fire. I ate the fish, bones and all.

Most exciting:

> Colin, who can reply to you? Or, possibly you don't want answers from other people because they just intrude on your own inner dialogues and anyway, they are not in your "shoes" so to say.

Thanks for your message! As far as I can tell: if you comment on the blog or email me directly, and if that day or the next I turn on the cell phone and get a signal, I'll get the message. Otherwise (say there's no signal for a whole week), not until I log into gmail somewhere will I see the message. Messages sent to me @mms.att.net can get lost in oblivion; me @gmail goes to phone and keeps a copy at gmail too.

There have been messages I sent from the cell phone that never went through. It's never perfect. If two weeks go by and no response from me to a message, I probably did not get it yet.

There have been times where I got overwhelmed by fairly simple appreciative emails, or messages of other kinds. Mostly: not sure how to respond, yet feeling I should respond. I seem to prefer usually writing the whole world than personal messages, but I'm usually happy to have the personal emails to think about and reply to.

> [the inner peace part]

I'm wondering whether I should savor this comment longer--it may be helping me narrow in on two areas of questioning: what are we doing here together, what am I doing writing here, what are people doing sending me messages, commenting, etc., what am I doing when I hang out with friends, people on the trail, whoever? When I left comments? When I read or listen? All that, one area. Other area: what are we doing beyond seeking to enjoy peace / help others do so? As long as I'm alive, there are decisions to be made, how do I decide?

And a comment is nice--because (area 1) maybe others have these questions? Well, I'm not sure what.

[Saw a hawk? knock a bat? which started spiraling; hawk turned back, caught it, carried it off.]

Getting nowhere with these questions now. All that's coming is (Aurobindian per Kazlav - http://kheper.net ?): things are being done through me/us by all these actions. & response to "what to do?" is the basic Theory U / shaman's journey approach: go into stillness, come back out, there you are. Repeat.

So that's what I'll do. Yes our/my interactions matter. Joy, love, energy, or the cockroach effect (Zajonc?) comes from that.

Will now enjoy walking further on a trail that is easy to follow. Even in the dark. On my breaks, been reading Pynchon's _Vineland_. At least, I think it's his--more approachable than _Mason Dixon Line_ which I may try next, but not as remarkable as _V_.

Thanks for hanging on this mtntop with me! The contact is real (all contact is mediated [Wilber]) though it's through the machine (Forester).

oh my-

Peace,

No comments: