I made it to Cold Springs Saddle (3401')from near Milpas St & 101 in Santa Barbara with what could be enough food for three weeks.
I wish I had written my grandma before I left town.
There is a post I finished at ~7:45PM 3/30 (Monday) that won't be published until this evening. . . I used the delayed publishing/post-dating feature.
So the main thing is: this may be the last heard from me until 4/21. More likely though I'll check in from a mountaintop or leave the forest by 4/14 or even earlier.
The last attempt to carry two weeks of food was a fiasco. . .
This time I mis-measured and may have brought twice as many legumes as I would eat in two weeks (almost 2 cups dry/day).
I'm somewhat greedy for expanses of time free from structure and free from carland and from the calorie/food addiction/preoccupation that often distracts me when I am in communities or urban areas.
After a week of this how will I feel?
A lot will be considered/ thought about out here besides food. . . (or the mind may quickly run out and be still/silent. And then? Read? Climb mountain to check/send email?)
I'll finish Tom Brown's _Grandfather_. Maybe _Infinite Jest_.
I'll enjoy sleeping outside without worrying about cops or about car or people noise or bright lights.
I'll drink good water. Collect good greens. Get lots of rest.
I'll be at Forbush Camp tonight. Then I think I'll head to Little Caliente Hot Springs. After that I could go eastish toward Ojai, or westish to Cachuma Saddle. I may move slowly at first due to pack being heavy.
I'll let the "Los Padres Walkers" community idea sit (groups.google.com/group/lpws). If it is still with me after a while, I may make a better list of where to announce it.
I won't take as many pictures--the old ones give the basic idea.
Enjoy the next three weeks!
Oh, Leslie M and I and others possibly are still planning that three-week mindfulness sangha Sierras walk in about August.
If I want alternatives to paying the $381 ticket, I should go to Vista/Escondido by 5/11.
[Partly, the Los Padres Walkers idea comes from my reaction to the various communities I visited, to not wanting to stay in those communities. Partly it comes from that monk (Zoima?) in _The Brothers Karamazov_'s injunction to take responsibility for everyone and everything. I don't want to be escapist. I want to help the others, who, like me, were stuck in buldings, behind computers, in carland, in private property land, in "highest and best use" land, in excessive calories land. In the land where people try to attract and retain mates and reproduce, reproduce, attract, copy.]
[I'm sorry to have once again defined myself in opposition to aspects of existence which are a part of me and which I need. I'd better present my exploration as seeking greater diversity and as seeking the appropriate degree of life's elements for my own situation.
Another thought, maybe not related, follows.
Haiko left me with a pointer: what I experience, the divine/spirit does also. We are its eyes and ears (and hands and mind).]
[Let me also add, while I'm going on and on, I still have no clue what to make of Quail Springs. No clue. I let it fade from my mind. I take no initiative in planning to return (I wait until you want to walk there with me). Though anything I can say about it is positive. The story I have developed: they live (interpersonally) as if they had already attained the permaculture ideal of abundance. Tears came attempting to explain this--"What did I do to deserve this? --it's like your mother" (how the ideal of mother loves). So often they express welcoming and appreciation. And there must be some mistake; they must have changed their minds by now--
But aside from my not comprehending or relaxing into their way, my unease may come more from not fully aligning/resonating with their (or anyone's?) building, planting, staying put, eating, working, and car-using projects.
So I'll paste in here some writing I attempted during the 2.5 weeks I was there:
--begin paste--
Asunto: no longr write
Why I can no longer write. But I said, "I wish every one could know what I know here." Could I write, a few more would.
Amazing clichés. Amazing people. Royalty [of character, soul, aspiration]. Melodramatization. Expression. Criticism. Self-satire. Inspire solidity, confidence.
Madness. Madness. How can this exist. How can such fine people be here with me? Be serving me? Cooking for me? Gourmets. Teaching me. Charging others not me. Why am I community, guest, appreciated, served, taught, and learned from by some, accepted as part of the worthy diversity, even as I feel. . .
Need I write more. . . ?
I will not stay? I will hobble on? Back to an old way "I" can comprehend more? More suited to. . . confidence, solidity.
--end paste--]
[It costs a quarter to post this, regardless of length.]
[Ben and Raffi just left. Ben, the informal, undercover mayor of I.V. (Isla Vista). Run the parks, they say. Lots of good stories. Driving out to Pendola where there's a hot tub they say. I could have gone. Said a bunch of 'Nam vets migrate on horse down here from Yosemite for the winter (others drive/ride). He'll meet them at Pendola. I see a Pendola Debris Dam on the Bryan Conant's map, but no hot springs. Do they mean Little Caliente? Ben gave me tips on how to get fed and how not to get caught by the cops camping in IV (if it looks good to you. . . ). I wanted to ask about the UCSB police too, but he answered something different. Isla Vista's a good place. So many places I could hang out.]
A breath and a smile,
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
@Gaviota 3/25;QS 3/26-31;4/1 walk SP>QS?
I want right now to not be concerned that my family might be wondering whether I arrived at Spirit Pine (SP). So I'm breaking my Internet silence.
I've been avoiding using this phone or adding money to it. I've not checked email since 3/11 (two Wednesdays ago) and may not check until after 3/26.
I don't need to do a thing about the ticket I got--until 4/9, and should be able to push that to 5/9, or pay $381--
The upcoming [tentative] plan is in the subject line. QS = quailsprings.org, SP=Spirit Pine Sanctuary (only online info for that I've found is at Eva's blog [evalarevolution.blogspot.com ? The link is in the calendar entry for 3/11-3/19]).
I'm going to Gaviota (1) to have a place to walk to, and (2) to visit what was once called The Brotherhood of the Sun, and is now Sunburstonline.org (?). I'll head to the place where they have 630am meditation, which may be 5 miles west of where 1 leaves 101.
3/26 will be used to get to Ojai to meet a friend from San Diego at 5pm or later and ride to Quail Springs.
3/31 I'll get a ride to Spirit Pine and the following day begin a walk to Quail Springs.
Then I'll leave Quail Springs, go north, visit Monterey and the SF bay area. I'll plan with Lesley M. a 3-week mindfulness sangha walk in the Sierras.
Then I'll volunteer at couchsurfing.org's headquarters (near Berkeley?).
4/9 I'll go back to Escondido and serve time or do service work and camp out near DeerParkMonastery.org (but not on the nature preserve!).
So, no need to wonder where I'll be!
Next post after 4/9?
---
I do hope to get my pictures posted. Some have been, but are not yet rotated, commented, deleted.
But mostly I've been living an offline life. I've not seen a newspaper or a news site since 2/17. No TV or radio either.
I have encountered native american rock art (now visible as red marks on rock faces) along the Manzana Trail in Los Padres National Forest.
No one I've met has even mentioned any current (non-local) event.
[At QS, I did look at a few books. But suprisingly often these days I've spent my time just watching my mind, seeing what comes along.]
good night. Back to focusing on my breathing and smiling.
Visiting Spirit Pine was a challenge. I'd rather breathe and smile than write about it.
[yet] I'd like to help those who are not in this offline ancient world [resting deeply in their own current present moment?] and who want in to get in.
it is wonderful out here. Beautiful things. Loving people. Quail Springs has been a big part of that. Their gratitude practice. And my time with the Deer Park and San Diego sanghas. And some Spirit Pine-related magic, and magic from the walk there, and how that led to my next tentative destination/return to walking.
--
a breath, a smile, and a bun dance--
I've been avoiding using this phone or adding money to it. I've not checked email since 3/11 (two Wednesdays ago) and may not check until after 3/26.
I don't need to do a thing about the ticket I got--until 4/9, and should be able to push that to 5/9, or pay $381--
The upcoming [tentative] plan is in the subject line. QS = quailsprings.org, SP=Spirit Pine Sanctuary (only online info for that I've found is at Eva's blog [evalarevolution.blogspot.com ? The link is in the calendar entry for 3/11-3/19]).
I'm going to Gaviota (1) to have a place to walk to, and (2) to visit what was once called The Brotherhood of the Sun, and is now Sunburstonline.org (?). I'll head to the place where they have 630am meditation, which may be 5 miles west of where 1 leaves 101.
3/26 will be used to get to Ojai to meet a friend from San Diego at 5pm or later and ride to Quail Springs.
3/31 I'll get a ride to Spirit Pine and the following day begin a walk to Quail Springs.
Then I'll leave Quail Springs, go north, visit Monterey and the SF bay area. I'll plan with Lesley M. a 3-week mindfulness sangha walk in the Sierras.
Then I'll volunteer at couchsurfing.org's headquarters (near Berkeley?).
4/9 I'll go back to Escondido and serve time or do service work and camp out near DeerParkMonastery.org (but not on the nature preserve!).
So, no need to wonder where I'll be!
Next post after 4/9?
---
I do hope to get my pictures posted. Some have been, but are not yet rotated, commented, deleted.
But mostly I've been living an offline life. I've not seen a newspaper or a news site since 2/17. No TV or radio either.
I have encountered native american rock art (now visible as red marks on rock faces) along the Manzana Trail in Los Padres National Forest.
No one I've met has even mentioned any current (non-local) event.
[At QS, I did look at a few books. But suprisingly often these days I've spent my time just watching my mind, seeing what comes along.]
good night. Back to focusing on my breathing and smiling.
Visiting Spirit Pine was a challenge. I'd rather breathe and smile than write about it.
[yet] I'd like to help those who are not in this offline ancient world [resting deeply in their own current present moment?] and who want in to get in.
it is wonderful out here. Beautiful things. Loving people. Quail Springs has been a big part of that. Their gratitude practice. And my time with the Deer Park and San Diego sanghas. And some Spirit Pine-related magic, and magic from the walk there, and how that led to my next tentative destination/return to walking.
--
a breath, a smile, and a bun dance--
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Growing the Sangha; Jest; Songs
Purpose: To rest deeply in the present.
Values: Peace.
Vision: Interact with others to grow the sangha.
(Thanks to _Full Steam Ahead_ by Blanchard and Stoner, given to me by Brent Bystedt.)
What I learned at the monastery:
"A breath and a smile. Generating future from past, may I rest in the present."
I learned to return awareness to my breath and to my present sensations--whether neutral, pleasant, or unpleasant-- and to smile.
I learned to look at my feelings and ask whether they originate internally, externally or internally/externally (and: do they originate in the mind or in the body?). Of the unpleasant feelings, noting the mental origin of many of them reduces the unpleasantness.
This returning to the present sensations I learned to do throughout the day: walking, sitting, eating, talking, laying down, working. When a bell sounds, we are reminded to return to the present.
The unrestrictive retreat environment (we can talk to each other, are encouraged to interact, and we even have breaks from silent eating and sitting, but never the bells) let me say foolish things (and encouraged and helped me to apologize ASAP) and let me learn and resolve to speak more mindfully--the tongue was mentioned by one monastic (Phap Hai[?]) as being a few inches of flesh causing much of human suffering.
We are even encouraged to speak in challenging (potentially harm-causing and mindless) situations (Happiness Meeting, Beginning Anew, Dharma Discussions)--and these are more laboratories for developing mindful, thoughtful, considered speech--for developing spontaneity while still being considerate, compassionate, joyful, and helpful in what one says.
---
All that--is a better way to live. Instead of writing here, I've been returning to the present and enjoying doing so.
I've gotten lost in mindlessness (mostly eating and reading) since I returned--but by not writing (or chewing over the past) and by quickly returning to awareness of my present breath and by smiling, life has been better (richer?) than before.
Questions I left with: what does it mean to live deeply in each moment? What does it mean to rest deeply in each moment? These were mentioned as goals of the practice. What are results of doing so?
--
I've met wonderful people on my return to San Diego--people part of the Thich Nhat Hanh-inspired (what I've been calling The) Mindfulness Sangha.
Wonderful people. People my age (people of different ages, but somehow similar. Similar in sharing a value for the practice/work we learn at Deer Park (or from TNH's books/videos)?)-- Inspiring people. People who inspire me with their presence, their way of being. David, Steven, Marika, Namaste, Steve, and others. Steven wove bracelets for us, and with each knot returned his mind to "I love you". David and I both note there's something more than averagely special about Steven. David suggested it is his empathy. And note, friends, everyone I've mentioned here I would note as having (more often than I've encountered it before) that special quality--a peace, a calmness, a deliberateness, a sensitivity, an awareness? These are all people on the edge--one foot in the non-monastic culture, one foot feeling in a direction that perhaps neither their parents nor the monastics (spiritual parents) are testing. [This paragraph strikes me as somewhat unskillful. I don't want to discourage monastics who might read this (they and their example have helped me so much). But there is a somberness there--there is something at the monastery, about the cultural reproduction there, I'm not totally embracing. . . I want to say it has to do with uniqueness and personality, facebookness/friendfeedness. There is something joyfully mindblowing about the diversity of paths I encounter outside? A breath and a smile.]
[While it is on my mind: the fourth of the five contemplations when touching the earth is "people I love/or people who love me"--this was left out of the earlier post.]
---
The future has been my greatest hang-up since returning. What next? How do I guide myself beyond continuing to return to the present?
"Interact with others to grow the mindfulness sangha." Is a vision for acting that has helped.
"Refrain from reproducing the old cycles and habits." That seems to be the deeper unconscious instruction. Do things differently. With no vision for the future, I laid still nearly two days until one vision was in place (wwoofing). "Do not stay at grandma's house." That seems almost compulsory.
So, tomorrow, I leave again. I leave the sangha I've found here. Perhaps I'll remain away much longer than I have before?
---
That may be all the story I have about the monastery. The routine and near-vegan diet were a challenge (some monastics with soy allergies/ failure to thrive as vegan will eat eggs, dairy, but default diet is vegan).
During a Q&A session, two monks and a nun mentioned not being happier than before they ordained, but that they were more solid and stable. Sweetness of monastic life was compared to that of a broccoli or carrot--a skill they developed in developing their sensitivity and awareness--vs. the sweetness and rush (and down and unnourishing effects) of a candy bar.
That comment was helpful. I rather like my non-monastic life? There are joyful elements. Though or because I work rarely, I enjoy the work, especially the coworkers I meet and the new situations the work puts me in. I like to meet the permaculture people. There is more awareness and implementation of earth-beauty, earth-connection there (In some ways. PC'ers may be less aware, less mindful, less calm, more harmfully passionate, more car-intensive). I love especially the mindfulness sangha members on the edge, bringing mindful practices to their non-monastic lives.
David, a man I met at the monastery who travels around to many monasteries--an itinerant un-ordained Buddha-valuer, well-read, thoughtfully considered, much to say about wandering and helping--I'm remembering him now.
I learned to view indecision as a habit of mind: mind likes to generate indecision perhaps because that perpetuates mind. Is it possible just to decide? To recognize the indecision habit and then return awareness to breathing and smile?
-------------
I hope now to write what is needed: people want to be (I want to be?) organized, given the opportunity, to do fun things.
So, I may be silent except to develop and announce the forest walks and lay sangha meetings--?
Yesterday I was so grateful to have Mike call me up and invite me to come spread mulch for a landscape installation he was doing. Good physical work and company--it got me out of the house and to a long walk back in places I hadn't been. I respect him so much as a good person doing good things--similar to Steven in quality of presence--I'd like to be able to offer others opportunities such as he gave me to get out, to do new things, to see new people and places, with the added element of practicing more mindfulness.
---------
Below are some things I typed in from _Infinite Jest_. Below that, songs, gathas, contemplations from Deer Park Monastery.
Know that I hope to announce more group forest walks at
groups.google.com/group/dhws
a breath and a smile,
--------------------------------------
From _Infinite Jest_ by David Foster Wallace (could be a harmful text?):
Sometimes words that seem to express really invoke.
That sharing means talking,
That it takes effort to pay attention to any one stimulus for more than a few seconds.
, can want to get high but instead just sit there, wanting but not, if that makes sense, and if you can gut it out and not hit the Substance during the craving the craving will eventually pass, it will go away -- at least for a while.
That most Substance-addicted people are also addicted to thinking,
In short that 99% of the head's thinking activity consists of trying to scare the everliving shit out of itself. That it is possible to make rather tasty poached eggs in a microwave oven.
there's a deep and tremendously compelling dignity about the old man's demeanor w/r/t the PUSSY on his arm,
The punter never made her feel quite so taken care of, never made her feel about to be entered by something that didn't know she was there and yet was all about making her feel good anyway, coming in. Entertainment is blind.
------------------------------------------------
From Deer Park Monastery songs, gathas, contemplations:
*Verse while serving our food*
In this food I see clearly the presence of the entire universe supporting my existence.
*Verse before eating*
Beings all over the Earth are struggling to live. May we practice so that all may have enough to eat.
*Verse after the meal*
My bowl (plate) is empty. My appetite is fulfilled. My heart is filled with gratitude for parents, teachers, friends, and all beings.
---
Two personal notes:
Indecision as a habit of mind.
What is best for my practice (work)?
-----
The Five Contemplations
1 This food is the gift of the earth, the sky, numerous living beings and much hard work.
2 May we eat with mindfulness and gratitude so as to be worthy to receive it.
3 May we recognize and transform our unwholesome mental formations, especially our greed, and learn to eat with moderation.
4 May we keep our compassion alive by eating in such a way that we reduce the suffering of living beings, preserve our planet, and reverse the process of global warming.
5 We accept this food so that we may nurture our sisterhood and brotherhood, strengthen our sangha, and nourish our ideal of serving all beings.
-----------------------
SONGS OF PRACTICE:
1. The Island Within
Breathing in, I go back to the island within myself.
There are beautiful trees within the island. There are clear streams of water. There are birds, sunshine, and fresh air.
Breathing out,
I feel safe. I enjoy going back to my island.
3. Happiness
Happiness is here and now
I have dropped my worries
Nowhere to go, Nothing to do
No longer in a hurry
Happiness is here and now
I have dropped my worries
Somewhere to go, something to do
But I don't need to hurry.
4. Arrived, At Home
Arrived, arrived
At home, I am at home
Dwelling in the here
And dwelling in the now
Solid as a mountain
Free as a white cloud
The door to no birth and no death is open
Free and unshakeable
6. I have arrived, I am home
In the here, and in the now
I am solid, I am free
I am solid, I am free
In the ultimate I dwell
8. Walking in Beauty
Now I walk in beauty,
beauty is before me,
beauty is behind me,
above me and below me.
(and within me)
9. Breathing in, Breathing out
Breathing in, breathing out
Breathing in, breathing out
I am blooming as a flower
I am fresh as the dew
I am solid as a mountain
I am firm as the earth
I am free
Breathing in, breathing out
Breathing in, breathing out
I am water reflecting
what is real, what is true.
And I feel there is space
Deep inside of me
I am free, I am free, I am free.
10. Song of Gratitude
Thank you for letting me fly,
high, high above the sky.
Thank you for letting me smile, smile, smile throughout day and night.
Thank you for letting me cry the tears from deep down inside.
Thank you for being my light, a guardian angel by my side.
Thank you for opening my eyes and making the world so bright.
12. Take Your Time
Take your time, breathing in, breathing out.
Look deeply as you say, "This is me."
You and your breath, you and the all.
As hummingbird and flower have always been together.
Take gentle steps. Feel the ground, curl your toes.
Is there a line between you and this path?
You and your step, you and the Earth,
as butterfly and blossom, have never been apart.
Values: Peace.
Vision: Interact with others to grow the sangha.
(Thanks to _Full Steam Ahead_ by Blanchard and Stoner, given to me by Brent Bystedt.)
What I learned at the monastery:
"A breath and a smile. Generating future from past, may I rest in the present."
I learned to return awareness to my breath and to my present sensations--whether neutral, pleasant, or unpleasant-- and to smile.
I learned to look at my feelings and ask whether they originate internally, externally or internally/externally (and: do they originate in the mind or in the body?). Of the unpleasant feelings, noting the mental origin of many of them reduces the unpleasantness.
This returning to the present sensations I learned to do throughout the day: walking, sitting, eating, talking, laying down, working. When a bell sounds, we are reminded to return to the present.
The unrestrictive retreat environment (we can talk to each other, are encouraged to interact, and we even have breaks from silent eating and sitting, but never the bells) let me say foolish things (and encouraged and helped me to apologize ASAP) and let me learn and resolve to speak more mindfully--the tongue was mentioned by one monastic (Phap Hai[?]) as being a few inches of flesh causing much of human suffering.
We are even encouraged to speak in challenging (potentially harm-causing and mindless) situations (Happiness Meeting, Beginning Anew, Dharma Discussions)--and these are more laboratories for developing mindful, thoughtful, considered speech--for developing spontaneity while still being considerate, compassionate, joyful, and helpful in what one says.
---
All that--is a better way to live. Instead of writing here, I've been returning to the present and enjoying doing so.
I've gotten lost in mindlessness (mostly eating and reading) since I returned--but by not writing (or chewing over the past) and by quickly returning to awareness of my present breath and by smiling, life has been better (richer?) than before.
Questions I left with: what does it mean to live deeply in each moment? What does it mean to rest deeply in each moment? These were mentioned as goals of the practice. What are results of doing so?
--
I've met wonderful people on my return to San Diego--people part of the Thich Nhat Hanh-inspired (what I've been calling The) Mindfulness Sangha.
Wonderful people. People my age (people of different ages, but somehow similar. Similar in sharing a value for the practice/work we learn at Deer Park (or from TNH's books/videos)?)-- Inspiring people. People who inspire me with their presence, their way of being. David, Steven, Marika, Namaste, Steve, and others. Steven wove bracelets for us, and with each knot returned his mind to "I love you". David and I both note there's something more than averagely special about Steven. David suggested it is his empathy. And note, friends, everyone I've mentioned here I would note as having (more often than I've encountered it before) that special quality--a peace, a calmness, a deliberateness, a sensitivity, an awareness? These are all people on the edge--one foot in the non-monastic culture, one foot feeling in a direction that perhaps neither their parents nor the monastics (spiritual parents) are testing. [This paragraph strikes me as somewhat unskillful. I don't want to discourage monastics who might read this (they and their example have helped me so much). But there is a somberness there--there is something at the monastery, about the cultural reproduction there, I'm not totally embracing. . . I want to say it has to do with uniqueness and personality, facebookness/friendfeedness. There is something joyfully mindblowing about the diversity of paths I encounter outside? A breath and a smile.]
[While it is on my mind: the fourth of the five contemplations when touching the earth is "people I love/or people who love me"--this was left out of the earlier post.]
---
The future has been my greatest hang-up since returning. What next? How do I guide myself beyond continuing to return to the present?
"Interact with others to grow the mindfulness sangha." Is a vision for acting that has helped.
"Refrain from reproducing the old cycles and habits." That seems to be the deeper unconscious instruction. Do things differently. With no vision for the future, I laid still nearly two days until one vision was in place (wwoofing). "Do not stay at grandma's house." That seems almost compulsory.
So, tomorrow, I leave again. I leave the sangha I've found here. Perhaps I'll remain away much longer than I have before?
---
That may be all the story I have about the monastery. The routine and near-vegan diet were a challenge (some monastics with soy allergies/ failure to thrive as vegan will eat eggs, dairy, but default diet is vegan).
During a Q&A session, two monks and a nun mentioned not being happier than before they ordained, but that they were more solid and stable. Sweetness of monastic life was compared to that of a broccoli or carrot--a skill they developed in developing their sensitivity and awareness--vs. the sweetness and rush (and down and unnourishing effects) of a candy bar.
That comment was helpful. I rather like my non-monastic life? There are joyful elements. Though or because I work rarely, I enjoy the work, especially the coworkers I meet and the new situations the work puts me in. I like to meet the permaculture people. There is more awareness and implementation of earth-beauty, earth-connection there (In some ways. PC'ers may be less aware, less mindful, less calm, more harmfully passionate, more car-intensive). I love especially the mindfulness sangha members on the edge, bringing mindful practices to their non-monastic lives.
David, a man I met at the monastery who travels around to many monasteries--an itinerant un-ordained Buddha-valuer, well-read, thoughtfully considered, much to say about wandering and helping--I'm remembering him now.
I learned to view indecision as a habit of mind: mind likes to generate indecision perhaps because that perpetuates mind. Is it possible just to decide? To recognize the indecision habit and then return awareness to breathing and smile?
-------------
I hope now to write what is needed: people want to be (I want to be?) organized, given the opportunity, to do fun things.
So, I may be silent except to develop and announce the forest walks and lay sangha meetings--?
Yesterday I was so grateful to have Mike call me up and invite me to come spread mulch for a landscape installation he was doing. Good physical work and company--it got me out of the house and to a long walk back in places I hadn't been. I respect him so much as a good person doing good things--similar to Steven in quality of presence--I'd like to be able to offer others opportunities such as he gave me to get out, to do new things, to see new people and places, with the added element of practicing more mindfulness.
---------
Below are some things I typed in from _Infinite Jest_. Below that, songs, gathas, contemplations from Deer Park Monastery.
Know that I hope to announce more group forest walks at
groups.google.com/group/dhws
a breath and a smile,
--------------------------------------
From _Infinite Jest_ by David Foster Wallace (could be a harmful text?):
Sometimes words that seem to express really invoke.
That sharing means talking,
That it takes effort to pay attention to any one stimulus for more than a few seconds.
, can want to get high but instead just sit there, wanting but not, if that makes sense, and if you can gut it out and not hit the Substance during the craving the craving will eventually pass, it will go away -- at least for a while.
That most Substance-addicted people are also addicted to thinking,
In short that 99% of the head's thinking activity consists of trying to scare the everliving shit out of itself. That it is possible to make rather tasty poached eggs in a microwave oven.
there's a deep and tremendously compelling dignity about the old man's demeanor w/r/t the PUSSY on his arm,
The punter never made her feel quite so taken care of, never made her feel about to be entered by something that didn't know she was there and yet was all about making her feel good anyway, coming in. Entertainment is blind.
------------------------------------------------
From Deer Park Monastery songs, gathas, contemplations:
*Verse while serving our food*
In this food I see clearly the presence of the entire universe supporting my existence.
*Verse before eating*
Beings all over the Earth are struggling to live. May we practice so that all may have enough to eat.
*Verse after the meal*
My bowl (plate) is empty. My appetite is fulfilled. My heart is filled with gratitude for parents, teachers, friends, and all beings.
---
Two personal notes:
Indecision as a habit of mind.
What is best for my practice (work)?
-----
The Five Contemplations
1 This food is the gift of the earth, the sky, numerous living beings and much hard work.
2 May we eat with mindfulness and gratitude so as to be worthy to receive it.
3 May we recognize and transform our unwholesome mental formations, especially our greed, and learn to eat with moderation.
4 May we keep our compassion alive by eating in such a way that we reduce the suffering of living beings, preserve our planet, and reverse the process of global warming.
5 We accept this food so that we may nurture our sisterhood and brotherhood, strengthen our sangha, and nourish our ideal of serving all beings.
-----------------------
SONGS OF PRACTICE:
1. The Island Within
Breathing in, I go back to the island within myself.
There are beautiful trees within the island. There are clear streams of water. There are birds, sunshine, and fresh air.
Breathing out,
I feel safe. I enjoy going back to my island.
3. Happiness
Happiness is here and now
I have dropped my worries
Nowhere to go, Nothing to do
No longer in a hurry
Happiness is here and now
I have dropped my worries
Somewhere to go, something to do
But I don't need to hurry.
4. Arrived, At Home
Arrived, arrived
At home, I am at home
Dwelling in the here
And dwelling in the now
Solid as a mountain
Free as a white cloud
The door to no birth and no death is open
Free and unshakeable
6. I have arrived, I am home
In the here, and in the now
I am solid, I am free
I am solid, I am free
In the ultimate I dwell
8. Walking in Beauty
Now I walk in beauty,
beauty is before me,
beauty is behind me,
above me and below me.
(and within me)
9. Breathing in, Breathing out
Breathing in, breathing out
Breathing in, breathing out
I am blooming as a flower
I am fresh as the dew
I am solid as a mountain
I am firm as the earth
I am free
Breathing in, breathing out
Breathing in, breathing out
I am water reflecting
what is real, what is true.
And I feel there is space
Deep inside of me
I am free, I am free, I am free.
10. Song of Gratitude
Thank you for letting me fly,
high, high above the sky.
Thank you for letting me smile, smile, smile throughout day and night.
Thank you for letting me cry the tears from deep down inside.
Thank you for being my light, a guardian angel by my side.
Thank you for opening my eyes and making the world so bright.
12. Take Your Time
Take your time, breathing in, breathing out.
Look deeply as you say, "This is me."
You and your breath, you and the all.
As hummingbird and flower have always been together.
Take gentle steps. Feel the ground, curl your toes.
Is there a line between you and this path?
You and your step, you and the Earth,
as butterfly and blossom, have never been apart.
Photos up: gardens, canyons, walking, sleeping, and eating the greens in San Diego
Edible landscapes meeting, Univ. Ave, Adams Ave, Art trees, Fallen Fruit Jam, outdoor sleepers, Balboa Park, City College Farm, El Cajon Blvd, Seaport Village, Old Town, Canyons, Graveyard,
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| San Diego 2009-02-01 to 08 |
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