Everywhere I've gone recently, there has been reception, and this makes me want to post. It's 0630 Thursday, 8/14, and I was laying here feeling around for something to do. Not eating--I feel well fed. Not walking or listening or reading--I was doing the first two till late by the light of the moon, full or nearly so. I guess, being west of the PCT, I'm closer to the central valley. To the west I see no more high mts, just haze.
0755 That tided me over until biological functions kicked in--got to shit, eat. Next up in that area: lack of water. Will have to walk on to next stream.
In spite of a mistake I made a while back (will be detailed in a later post), leading to sickness and to not enjoying being out here, I have recovered from that, mostly, and have been enjoying, though getting fatter on it, the free good food from the hiker barrels at Muir Trail Ranch and Vermilion Valley Resort, and the bit of company to be found in those places. Hikers, many with more income than time, many from the SF Bay area, resupply at MTR and VVR and often send themselves more $12/lb gorp and $5 health food bars than they want to carry or eat. Both establishments let other hikers take from the excess. At MTR, for example, when I arrived, there were 10 five-gallon buckets of food and two buckets of non-food supplies available to look through, and Pat, the overseer of the resupply operation, was preparing to burn some of the excess. Hikers pay $50 to MTR to pick up their buckets in addition to USPS/UPS shipping--buckets make the last part of their trip by mule. One could probably be quite happy and well-fed hiking between these two stations most of the summer, without ever spending a cent on food.
I've been following a route to the west of the PCT partly so I could visit MTR and VVR without needing to backtrack or pay for ferries. But it is nice to be off the main PCT/Muir Trail drag, nice, oddly enough, for me to hike near more trailheads, resorts, dams people can drive to. There's few enough of these human-made sites and their car-using visitors, at least on the edges of the roadless area the JMT passes through. They bring different people, ideas, objects of contemplation and feeling than land solitary and isolated with respect to other humans (/non-JMTers). Nice it is also to deal with the more poorly maintained trails, which wander through beautiful, isolated, rarely visited spots, which peter out or disappear, requiring more of one's attention to follow or to re-trail/road oneself when the path has been lost though there is a line on the map (and _that_ is the way one hoped to go). [This latter niceness is only possible to appreciate because there is a well-traveled, well-maintained foot trail to compare it to.] Also, I have no need to follow the Pacific Crest. The Pacific Valley would suit me fine were there not too many highways and car-users down there. So getting off the PCT when possible may reduce my wandering among rugged mountaintops and vistas of sheer, impassable cliffs--which I continue to find more disconcerting, even terrifying, than relaxing. Though, come to think of it, Chinese hermits may have made their home in mountains and cliffsides of an even more extreme aspect.
0851 I've run the battery nearly out, so nice it is to park/occupy the mind listening to Dickens. It took me nearly three days after leaving Bishop to turn to the audiobooks again--not wanting to hand over mind? But eventually: I want to walk (need to get to food) and enjoy it--maybe I can listen to something. These books let me smile and laugh as I walk down the trail and to be cheery with the hikers I come across, rather than odd, brooding.
Being with people saves on batteries--for hours after a conversation, or while walking out of a populated area and finding more people, equestrians, ruins along the trail, I have these encounters to wonder about.
Meetings with friendly like-aged women continue to be the most battery-saving, except when I get to wondering so much as to want to write, such as now.
In an ungraceful way, I may have achieved the beginning of a long-lasting peace out here. When I was sickish and at a cooler >10,000ft, I was dreaming of heat and fig season in Davis. Now I'm not as keen on leaving. But resupplying gracefully may continue to be the greatest challenge. And how slowly can I move? I'm generally happy to sit still quite a lot and read, write. And can I not get tired of all the walking often needed to get between resupply points?
Ending my current general plan of action could bring a ton of other complexities.
Where do people come into this?
This may be as far as I get for now. It was a bit odd to be a curiosity at VVR--partly: my pack is so small, comparatively, I am so free (out for so long), comparatively, and Warren (a friendly older guy who drove in in a Mercedes sports car) so enthusiastic about meeting "a real mountain man" (ha--mountain bum or lay-about rather) and even appreciated the dirtiness (Mark Twain is rather hard on dirtiness--a precursor to right-wing loser newspaper editors' [eg. SD UT] preoccupation with hand-washing?). I can relate to being as enthusiastic and curious about some of the PCT thru-hikers I met, and about some I met at last year's Feral Visions/Green anarchist gathering (Don, Penny).
What I enjoy(?) most remembering, or what I remember most, though enjoyment is less the sensation than raw meaning, is who I called Pleuriana, her gaze, manner, appearance. These were welcoming, appreciative, memorable in some way more, so: sparkling, deep, aware. Loni, her partner, more of a challenge--a bit of the feeling: I don't want to encourage you too much, for whatever reason. Pleur. mentioned being green anarchists, after I referred to last year's gathering, and it seemed then, I'd seen Pleur. before, and Loni reminded me of San Diego's Julia D. Thin, energetic, smiles, dramatic, sharp (not JD), enthusiastic.
And Brian, one of the two high school guys I'd met at MTR, asked what green anarchy was. (Paranoia, because some at the gathering may be planning direct action and others may be out to bust them).
I walk away. I haven't wanted to linger in these places where so many people are, and where the decisional difficulties are nearly constant: how much do I say? What do I say? What do I let go? What do I start? When stay silent? How do I walk? Where does my attention go? And as a few hours in these places can give me enough to wonder about, combined with my reading, listening, writing, for days (if Pleur. is there) more may be more than I can helpfully handle.
One approach is that of the Buddha--generally nothing but a silent smile as greeting or assent. But, in contrast (per John Heron), is creative participation in language and action--I tingle when listening to the examples of this in the young girls of Tolstoy (_War and Peace_) and Dickens.
The unreflecting creation I participate in as a cultural atom is clear enough: traveling from centers to edges, from concentrated new culture to diffused, general, "mainstream" culture, I carry one to the other: ultralight, portable tech, do nothing. Many times a total disconnect leads to isolation (attempting to hitch near the 395 and 15), here, some of the more mainstream may be eager to learn to carry less, live with less, to be more comfortable out here, to be more free to wander.
I only say this because of my experience at VVR.
At least one thing I neglect: the complex social building engaged in by those who spend their lives in families, companies, monasteries, the park service, or whatever other long-term project and commitment.
Somewhere there is a vision of resource use for this park that is at least being partially implemented. There is a procedure and policy about how trails should be built and about which ones are maintained.
If I am to do more than unreflecting creation, or than creative reproduction of what seem to me to be good parts of culture--
I can consider how limited / broad is the field from which I reproduce. Recently: Pynchon, Dickens, Jardine, cell phones, PCT+ variation, Buddhism, Participatory Spirituality, Green Anarchy, Permaculture, _The Garden of Eating_, MTR, VVR, Davis, figs, Read What I Write, Write Yourself, Librivox, Drink the water. Tolstoy and Dickens' girls. Pleuriana, Loni, Warren, Brian, Brendan (indirectly--his interests to extent they resonated, were expressed, encouraged the ones here).
One broad field: peace. Another: creation, or if some (Tagore) are to be believed: union in creation in joy / balance / dharma, the creation is in the peace, peace in the creation. As now?
So there was more noticeable-to-me meaning there with Pleur. "What a small pack!" I walked away.
There were two mildly short, plump, younger-than-I women on two horses with: three dogs running, nearly identical fine blouses, broad cowgirl hats, boots, dark circle eyeliner w/ beginning of egyptian flourish. Nearly identical expressions of reserve, sadness, fear, developing maturity. I was not where I had hoped (this, the way to The Devil's Bathtub). Developing uber-wealthy estate managers addressing lost greengrungelowbudget hiker, helpful, reserved, a bit dismayed, perhaps, or just with: fear and uncertainty we all have about how to help, respond, give directions; self-doubt; concern about how we'll appear.
Later, the three dogs charged up, and I got to ask the older young woman again for directions. She, after trotting a bit this time, tried to help again, same reserve, a bit dismay? but I never did find that trail. "It isn't well traveled. We haven't been able to follow that one yet." The little girl with friendly adult manner back at the mysteriously appearing corral had tried to help me too. The trail to Saddle Mtn.
So, I have these layers of recurring patterns that cycle through awareness. If I sit outwardly still, sooner or later a cycle, a pattern prompts action. A path beyond suffering is to water (nourish) the good ones and let them come to predominate over the suffering-exacerbating ones.
The only reason I write so much is that there was a nexus there, a Pleuriana, in which I could imagine many patterns coinciding, all that is common, and the basic difference. And many added things, from her field of reproduction, I'll unlikely ever know from mine. And is that honest? Do I wish to be less ignorant? Less free to be set/stuck in my reproductive field? Could I expand mine by interacting with her? Is there a real motive to expand in that way? What does it take for this imagined expansion to become real? Is it reasonable to think that given the commonalities between the two fields the two could expand by interacting?
Biological sexual reproduction + culture = emergent processes affecting cultural reproduction.
I am still green here (in the forest), and may not yet stay very long. But if I stay, if I return, if I write? if it ever happens that googling "forestdweller" (or would you try "forest dweller"?) brings people here--
That is very focused on a self-centered culture. Ray Jardine is like that and has done a lot of good. Gurus--.
The cultural molecule, weakened? if both (1) not enough others are like it and (2)too many others are like it?
Jules Verne, culture creator, Jardine, Mollison, Peace Pilgrim, because they question more and find reward in their questioning. And can use existing culture and frameworks in their creation. A culture creator, different from someone at peace?, eventually attracts attention of at least a few.
Desire completely abstracted? (Abstraction is integral to sexual reproduction in many cultures?) No, just an integral (or more accurate: cultural) rather than a simply biophysical formulation of desire.
So, to wrap this all up, next time such a nexus appears, I'll have this pondering behind me. Would I act more assertively to cultivate that nexus? No. I get more complacent. If it is easy enough to field the nexus, then sure. Othewise wait for one requiring not as much effort, commitment, change, risk. If one ceases to be as complacent (neglecting your meditation practice?), try harder.
If barriers to that kind of exploration are reduced. . .
1241 That's enough of own thoughts on this. Now, sit, no thought, or listen, read others', or let drift to other areas.
1329 battery low?
Peace,
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
resupply & not sure
I'm back around roads and cars and easy calories. There is a small store here I could resupply from, or I can take the bus to Bishop and back. I'm waiting for the bus, as Todd suggested. Yesterday, resting, wasn't sure about what to do next. Continue here?
If I can show you the pictures, you will see this is no longer easy forest strolling.
I was reminded of the simple plan, to walk 3hrs in morning and evening, doesn't really matter where. That got me up and moving and over Kearsarge Pass--
So, I expect I'll continue this way--decisionally simplest. I just have to hitch back up to trailhead 15 mi from Independence, and then hike 5 mi straight up to get back to the John Muir Trail/PCT where I left it. Until recently the hardest climb I had was the one out of Kernville.
This terrain requires very different eating--Do I want to burn through calories and run hard, or go somewhere where walking doesn't require as much consumption?
So, bigger decisions coming up: what do I resupply with (the small store resupply strategy requires larger budget)? And do I get the required bear container (+2lbs, -$$) or find a route where they're not required (if I get an internet connection to sierrawildbear.gov).
It's an odd world up there--once I got to the JMT and especially around Forester Pass. Forest Service workers camped near the top, as if it were an Everest base camp. For their work improving the trail up the endless cliff. Many people camped in the dark on steep hillsides among stunted trees on the north side, my way down, ready to go over the next day.
And I got prepared to deal better with rain.
It is eye-opening that so many people are out there to climb these mts.
As to what next? I still imagine getting a job on the biggest ship I can at some point.
$7 round trip to Bishop. I could hitch, but I like the bus.
Insight into stopping and starting: the start is in the stop, the stop in the start. I've never yet heard anyone address the mystery of why the buddha started or stopped meditating, or why anything starts or stops for that matter.
Writing this message, for instance.
The area around Mt Whitney sounds like an airport--pilots like to fly by it and there are helicopters.
Email: I've found before that I won't get messages if the phone was off a while. I won't get them until I log into gmail, unless you resend today, is my guess.
Should I follow this crest trail, or go somewhere more mellow? We'll see.
And I have been thinking of legacy, contribution.
With enough fat, carbohydrate, protein, anything is reasonable.
What I'm not yet sure what to make of: how eating affects behavior--if your body is able, and you eat enough Velveeta and Tortillas, you'll want to run the trail. If you don't eat enough, you won't want to move.
Add $2 to that fare.
And many of the hikers up there have a culture, a way of doing things I haven't totally adopted.
There are shrooms and fish to eat up there, and plenty of tame meat. It is a museum of scenery and I do feel in a museum. North of Yosemite and Tahoe, that may mellow.
I've thought of the Lost Coast, and of Los Padres.
Per Tagore: all this, an extension of self.
The bus is going by lava from the volcanoes that had something to do with these mad mountains.
A dessicated old smoker got on. Donkeys are standing in the road. Two of the preppie JMT hikers--they have the gear, they look good--are here too. There are all types out there, but mostly white. And the middle-aged men with GPS. L.A. Outward Bound did pass by. SD County Girl Scouts.
There are plenty of other trails to follow, but the PCT/JMT is decisionally simplest, what everyone does, an established channel. Do this, then branch out.
Does my walking help anyone? Do I love it?
possibly learning:
a new application of patience, how to care for/operate body in new scenario, unknown parts of earthly body, culture about its appreciaton.
"Wasn't that an awesome pass?"
Peace,
If I can show you the pictures, you will see this is no longer easy forest strolling.
I was reminded of the simple plan, to walk 3hrs in morning and evening, doesn't really matter where. That got me up and moving and over Kearsarge Pass--
So, I expect I'll continue this way--decisionally simplest. I just have to hitch back up to trailhead 15 mi from Independence, and then hike 5 mi straight up to get back to the John Muir Trail/PCT where I left it. Until recently the hardest climb I had was the one out of Kernville.
This terrain requires very different eating--Do I want to burn through calories and run hard, or go somewhere where walking doesn't require as much consumption?
So, bigger decisions coming up: what do I resupply with (the small store resupply strategy requires larger budget)? And do I get the required bear container (+2lbs, -$$) or find a route where they're not required (if I get an internet connection to sierrawildbear.gov).
It's an odd world up there--once I got to the JMT and especially around Forester Pass. Forest Service workers camped near the top, as if it were an Everest base camp. For their work improving the trail up the endless cliff. Many people camped in the dark on steep hillsides among stunted trees on the north side, my way down, ready to go over the next day.
And I got prepared to deal better with rain.
It is eye-opening that so many people are out there to climb these mts.
As to what next? I still imagine getting a job on the biggest ship I can at some point.
$7 round trip to Bishop. I could hitch, but I like the bus.
Insight into stopping and starting: the start is in the stop, the stop in the start. I've never yet heard anyone address the mystery of why the buddha started or stopped meditating, or why anything starts or stops for that matter.
Writing this message, for instance.
The area around Mt Whitney sounds like an airport--pilots like to fly by it and there are helicopters.
Email: I've found before that I won't get messages if the phone was off a while. I won't get them until I log into gmail, unless you resend today, is my guess.
Should I follow this crest trail, or go somewhere more mellow? We'll see.
And I have been thinking of legacy, contribution.
With enough fat, carbohydrate, protein, anything is reasonable.
What I'm not yet sure what to make of: how eating affects behavior--if your body is able, and you eat enough Velveeta and Tortillas, you'll want to run the trail. If you don't eat enough, you won't want to move.
Add $2 to that fare.
And many of the hikers up there have a culture, a way of doing things I haven't totally adopted.
There are shrooms and fish to eat up there, and plenty of tame meat. It is a museum of scenery and I do feel in a museum. North of Yosemite and Tahoe, that may mellow.
I've thought of the Lost Coast, and of Los Padres.
Per Tagore: all this, an extension of self.
The bus is going by lava from the volcanoes that had something to do with these mad mountains.
A dessicated old smoker got on. Donkeys are standing in the road. Two of the preppie JMT hikers--they have the gear, they look good--are here too. There are all types out there, but mostly white. And the middle-aged men with GPS. L.A. Outward Bound did pass by. SD County Girl Scouts.
There are plenty of other trails to follow, but the PCT/JMT is decisionally simplest, what everyone does, an established channel. Do this, then branch out.
Does my walking help anyone? Do I love it?
possibly learning:
a new application of patience, how to care for/operate body in new scenario, unknown parts of earthly body, culture about its appreciaton.
"Wasn't that an awesome pass?"
Peace,
Message from Bakersfield
[From a message to a friend on 2008-07-29-0636:]
I'm about to search out a bus that will take me up to Lake Isabella from bakersfield. Yesterday was grueling--a lot of time spent near a truck stop.
I hope your meeting went well! No need for good luck when your practice is good mood.
Well, the hardest part of my trip is over--leaving and getting unstuck from SD. What little stuff I have left is packed up in a few boxes in my grandma's garage.
So that's it! Let me know what's going on from time to time. I sometimes may post to fo-rest.blogspot.com. Peace,
I'm about to search out a bus that will take me up to Lake Isabella from bakersfield. Yesterday was grueling--a lot of time spent near a truck stop.
I hope your meeting went well! No need for good luck when your practice is good mood.
Well, the hardest part of my trip is over--leaving and getting unstuck from SD. What little stuff I have left is packed up in a few boxes in my grandma's garage.
So that's it! Let me know what's going on from time to time. I sometimes may post to fo-rest.blogspot.com. Peace,
Message from Domeland Wilderness
[From a message to a friend (2008-07-31-1713):]
and that issue about relationships--giving the most meaning, sometimes, and the most suffering. And getting people stuck too. Both the truck drivers I rode north with (I'm now in Sequoia NF) had tales of woe and stuckness about their first wives.
well, at the moment, I'm in the Domeland Wilderness (roundish mtns of granite) I have a large valley with stream [a fork of the Kern] probably to myself. Laying on some granite in shade of large pine tree waiting for a pot of good stuff to cool.
I seem to be much healthier than I was in May, and my pack much lighter (a lot of time and attention spent on that), and will probably be up in Yosemite before too long, even without spending too much time walking.
So things are good. Not sure when you'd get this--sending USPS mail may be faster--possibly I won't be where reception is until South Lake Tahoe, if I go that far.
When I've wanted to keep walking but my mind was getting numb, I play audiobooks on my phone--this is nice to be able to do.
I've not yet got on the PCT, but am headed that way through this wilderness (because I knew I could get there this way from a trailhead I could reach by bus), so often trails are hard to make out and going can be slow.
But every place I learn I feel expands my real estate holdings significantly.
Peace,
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